


Gravity

by stellarmeadow



Series: Season 4 Codas/Missing Scenes [12]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Coda, Episode Related, Episode Tag, M/M, episode 412
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-12
Updated: 2014-01-16
Packaged: 2018-01-08 10:35:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1131628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellarmeadow/pseuds/stellarmeadow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny needs to rethink things for the sake of his own sanity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the delay - I had such a hard time wrapping my head around this one. The thing about doing this series continually while including what's going on in the show is that I have to work with where the show goes. Some eps are easier than others. Hope you like it, though. 
> 
> Spoilers for 412 inside!

Danny glanced over at Steve, who was snoring lightly beside him. For the first time, Danny actually wished for Steve's compartments, that he could just lock things away he didn't want to deal with. He knew it didn't work forever--as a coping mechanism it was pretty bad, actually, especially when all that shit spilled out. But he'd give anything to sleep right now.

He hadn't slept much since this had started. Not just because of the odd hours--given their situation, adding in finding time to have sex when no one would notice was not really conducive to more sleep. Then again, it wasn't the first time he'd been in that situation.

And that comparison was one of the things he'd desperately love a footlocker in his brain to lock into and never think of again. 

This thing with Steve was nothing like the thing with Rachel. Rachel had been his attempt to get back his past. Steve was his attempt to get a future. Rachel had been doomed to fail from the start. Steve, though...Danny still had some hope.

Of course, it depended in part on Catherine getting her shit together. She'd announced to all of them the last week that she'd gone into the Reserves, but she hadn't looked happy. More determined than anything. 

Her expression had reminded him of a guy in a movie he'd seen once. He was stuck in the middle of a desert with no memory of how he got there or where he needed to go, but he picked a direction and moved forward because he couldn't just stand there. 

The guy in the movie had died in the desert, though, so maybe it wasn't the best comparison. 

She'd been on Reserve duty for a few days, and Danny had had Steve all to himself. No making excuses at night or sneaking around had been a little window into what it could be like if everything went as planned. If Catherine got her life together and Steve actually let her go.

Having Steve in his bed had been everything Danny had imagined and then some, and it was even harder than he'd thought to imagine losing it now that he had it. The longer this went on, the harder that was going to be. If he had any self preservation, he would end this now until he knew it was safe to get involved this deep. 

If he had any self preservation, he'd never have gotten in this deep in the first place. 

The snoring stopped and Steve shifted, arm and leg sliding over Danny's body, Steve's nose pressing against Danny's hair. "Shhh," Steve said into Danny's ear, the whisper and gust of warm air sending a shiver through Danny's body.

"Not talking," Danny whispered.

"You're thinking so loud it woke me up." Steve settled in closer, blanketing Danny in his warmth. "Go to sleep, Danno," he said. "You have to take Grace to cheer camp tomorrow." Danny could hear he was already sliding back into sleep himself. He melted into Steve, basking in the heat of him, closing his eyes and breathing him in. 

But he didn't sleep.

***

Danny watched Grace run over to her friends without so much as a backwards glance at him. He still remembered her first day of kindergarten, when she'd refused to walk to the bus without him holding her hand, and then cried on his shoulder because he couldn't come with her.

Now she couldn't wait to run away.

Before he knew it she'd be gone--college and marriage and everything he wanted for her future. But it would leave him alone. In a perfect world, he'd still have Steve, but he was starting to think that Steve would be married to Catherine with three kids by the time Grace left for college.

How was this his life?

He couldn't get that image out of his head, though, of Grace running off without looking back. And he'd let her go without even checking out the people there. He sighed and decided he was in for a day full of bad decisions as he dialed Steve's number.

The call was less than helpful, thanks to Grover's version of tough love. Or whatever that was supposed to be. Danny took great satisfaction in hanging up in Grover's ear, though it meant that he hadn't had a chance to fully vent his fears on Steve.

Then again, there was a whole other set of Catherine-shaped fears that Danny was already left with nowhere to vent. Why not add these to it?

Distraction came in the form of a very attractive woman who was worse at pronouncing Hawaiian words than Danny. She was also, he realized eventually, hitting on him. Not too subtly, either, considering Rachel had hit him with a car and he'd never even realized it had been her way of hitting on him. And it had taken years for him to figure out about Steve. 

Granted, he hadn't caught on until she'd asked the 21st century equivalent of "Goin' my way, sailor?" But he had caught on. And been tempted to turn around and go her way. Grace was at camp. Steve was working with Grover--and deserved it, with that phone ambush. What was there to stop him?

Except Steve.

"I'm not, actually, I'm going the other direction." Which was true enough. She was looking for a fresh start. He was mired in the middle of a life dealing with the choices he'd made. It would never work.

"Oh, okay then, well, I'm sure I'll find my way. I mean, it's an island, right? How hard could it be?"

She was really cute, especially with the flirty thing she did with her hair. "Yeah, just keep doing circles," he said. "You'll find it."

She started around the car. "Thanks for your help."

"Have, uh, uh, a good fresh start." Smooth, Danny. Smooth.

She threw him another smile anyway. "Thanks, Jersey."

He watched her get into the car, then turned to close up the gas tank and get into his car. He thought about Steve, curled around him in bed last night, like there was nowhere he'd rather be. And how in a couple of days, he'd be curled around Catherine, with her thinking the same thing. 

When had his life gotten so complicated?

That girl had seemed anything but complicated. She'd reminded him of Gabby, a little--uncomplicated and sweet, easy to be with, not demanding, no real baggage. The complete opposite of Steve 'I have a huge storage vault for my baggage' McGarrett.

There was no reason Danny couldn't make sure the girl got to Haleiwa, maybe even have lunch with her. A couple of hours in the company of a pretty girl, helping her out on her fresh start. No harm in that. 

He spun the car around and took off after her.

***

It wasn't until Danny found the boat in the pictures from the photo shoot that the hospital finally found his girl from the gas station. The license and credit card in her pocket had identified her as Amber Vitale. He used the 5-0 card to find out that she was out of surgery and not dead, but that's all they would tell him over the phone. 

"Thanks a lot," Danny said, hanging up with a sigh. He looked at the picture of the boat again as he called Chin to ask him to look up where it should dock. Once Chin found it, Danny asked where Steve was. 

"Out in the forest with Grover, looking for our suspect."

Danny couldn't help but laugh. "Steve's in the jungle with Grover? I'm sorry I'm missing out on that one."

"That makes two of us," Chin said. "I thought about bugging him."

" I'd have paid you for that." 

"Considering the number of times Kono's tried to bribe me to bug the Camaro, you might want to appreciate my integrity, brah."

Danny coughed. "Your integrity is noted and appreciated."

"That's what I thought. You need me to come out there?"

"No, stay there. There's still a squad car at the crime, I'll have them follow me to the marina in case I need any help."

"Be careful."

"Thanks."

He hung up, looking at his phone for a long moment before dialing Steve. He gave Steve the short version of what happened, waiting through the long pause before Steve said, "You followed her? Really?"

"You really wanna go there?" Danny asked, tired of this game. Steve didn't get to be possessive, not when he was still pretty much living with Catherine, no matter what reasons he gave for it. "Really? Because let's talk about where you spend most of your nights, Steve."

"It's not the same thing," Steve said quickly, his voice quieter, reminding Danny that Grover must be close by. 

He was right. It wasn't the same thing. But Danny wasn't in the mood to be fair. "That's not the point."

There was another long pause before Steve said, "So I'll see you later, right?" 

Uncertainty was all wrong on Steve, but it was there in his voice. It made Danny say yes automatically as he pulled into a parking space. "I have to go. I'm at the marina."

"You got back up?" Steve asked. The uncertainty wasn't quite gone, and it had some added concern with it. 

"HPD is right behind me."

"I'd rather be there," Steve said.

Danny shook his head. The guy could be a complete idiot, and then turn around and make Danny feel like a kid in love. Which he absolutely was not. "Go find your bad guy, Tarzan."

It did the trick, making Steve chuckle. "See you later, Jane," he said before he hung up.

"I'm going to kill him," Danny muttered as he put his phone in his pocket and got out of the car.

***

Danny felt a million years old as he drove away from the marina. He knew he'd have a few sleepless nights, picturing that kid being stuffed in the back of a police car, his father getting in beside him. A stupid, careless mistake that would haunt their family forever, one in a long line Danny had seen in his career.

He called Steve to let him know he'd gotten the shooter, feeling more and more ancient as he relayed the story. Steve made a sympathetic noise before he asked, "Do you want to have dinner? Decompress?"

As if Danny didn't know just what decompressing involved. And he did want to, too much. Getting into bed with Steve before he'd broken ties with Catherine was a mistake, like shooting at buckets with no thought to where the bullet might ricochet. He'd be lucky if it didn't ruin any lives. 

And yet he still had to fight the urge to say yes. "I'm going by the hospital to check on Amber," he said.

"Amber?"

"Yeah, the girl who got shot."

"Oh."

There was a wealth of meaning in that one word, and Danny heard all of it. His annoyance at Steve's double standard fueled his resolve. "I'll probably go home after. It's been a long day." 

"Okay." That uncertainty was back, and Danny steeled himself against it. "Let me know if you want company."

Danny still couldn't quite say no. "I'll call you after."

He said goodbye and hung up, tossing the phone into the seat beside him before punching the steering wheel. 

If he didn't know better, he'd say he was more self-destructive than Steve.

***

The hospital was far more forthcoming in person, telling him which room Amber was in, but that she was sleeping. "The doctor is hopeful she'll wake up soon if you want to wait," the nurse said. 

"Thanks." Danny went to her room, and pulled a chair up next to the bed. She looked so much younger and more vulnerable than she had when they'd met. But then, getting shot could do that to you. 

Of course, being shot multiple times could make you feel ancient, as he could attest. Every day when his arm ached in the humidity of Hawaii, the reminder that it had become a combination rest stop/B&B for bullets, he felt a little older. And a lot creakier.

He didn't want to feel old. He almost envied Amber, despite the fact she was in a hospital bed from a stray bullet. She was getting a fresh start. He wouldn't really want that, not if it meant giving up Grace, but the idea of it, at least, had a lot of appeal.

She woke up, and despite the bullet to the head--or maybe because of it, she was still flirting with him. He liked it--he couldn't lie. She reminded him a little of his first girlfriend, Janine Barducci. She'd been sweet and kind and attentive and he'd loved every minute of it, right up until she'd broken up with him for the quarterback. 

Which made him think of Steve, despite trying to think of anything but.

"Danny?" 

"Hm?"

"Everything okay?"

She was the one in the hospital bed with a hole in her head from a bullet, and she was asking him if he was okay. "Yeah, sorry, just thinking."

She paused for a second before she asked, her voice a little shaky, "So, any idea who shot me?"

"Yeah, I found the shooter." 

"Is he locked up?"

There was genuine fear in her eyes, and his hand tightened on her arm. "You're not in any danger. It was an accident. No one's out to get you or anything."

"Oh." She let out a long breath. "That's good. Thank you."

"For what?"

"Finding him?" Her smile was sweet. "Saving my life."

Which he had, now that he thought about it. "Couldn't let you lose that chance at a fresh start, could I?"

***

She fell back asleep about an hour later. Danny watched her for a few minutes before his phone buzzed. He pulled it out to see Steve's face on the screen. When he'd gotten out of the room, Danny answered. 

"Hey," Steve said, "just checking to see if you changed your mind about company."

"No," Danny said quietly. "I'm going to stay here at the hospital a little while longer and then go home."

Steve was silent for a moment. "Okay," he said finally, sounding both reserved and uncertain, like he was trying not to care and not quite managing. "You're still bringing Gracie over for the game tomorrow?"

"Of course," Danny said, because he couldn't say anything else. Not just because Grace would kill him for skipping it, but because Steve sounded so...lost. "We'll be there as soon as I get her from camp." 

"Good."

The relief was clear in his voice, and Danny had to get off this call before he lost the last bit of his will and told Steve to come over. "Amber's waking up," he said. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, okay. Night, Danno."

"Night."

Danny ended the call quickly, shoving his phone back in his pocket with more force than needed, and leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes. 

His life was so fucked up.

***

The thing about driving up to the North Shore is that there's plenty of time to think. Danny had stopped to check on Amber before heading out to get Grace, happy to see that she was feeling better. Gunshot wounds were not easy. But then the young bounce back so quickly.

He rolled his eyes at that thought. But there was no getting around it--she was younger than he was. She was also uncomplicated. And looking for a fresh start, free from baggage. And free from any other boyfriends or girlfriends, as she'd taken care to make sure he knew this morning.

He'd catch hell from his team, he knew that. Putting aside all the things Steve would think and say and do--because that was a whole other issue he still had to consider--he could hear the comments now. But so what? She might be young, but she was still more socially acceptable for him to be dating than his male, Navy SEAL boss. And he wouldn't think twice about that if Steve would get his head out of his ass.

Statistically speaking, there was about zero chance of the two of them ever having any kind of a meaningful relationship. But meaningful relationship was not high on the list of things he was looking for right now. He had a relationship with enough meaning to make him jump off a bridge. He wished that relationship had less meaning--it would be easier.

There was a certain amount of comfort going into something that you knew wouldn't work out. He could go out with her, have some fun, just dating, no expectations, no ties, nothing but a few nice dates. Help her get better and get her fresh start. Neither one of them would get hurt. 

He already knew Steve would hate it. But Steve wanted Catherine to be happy and well, above all, and if he really wanted to keep up this charade, then he couldn't very well get mad at Danny for helping him keep it up. 

He made it all the way to Schofield before his ability to delude himself crumbled. He wanted this. He wanted to try something that might make him happy. Not as happy as Steve would, but that was only if Steve suddenly developed actual self-awareness and realized what the hell he was doing.

Steve was never going to let Catherine go, because she was safe. She couldn't hurt him. Danny got that, he really did--Amber wouldn’t be able to hurt him either. And it felt good to go into something knowing that even if it crashed and burned, you'd be okay. 

If he didn't get out of this thing with Steve soon, he would not be okay. He'd either be stuck on the sidelines taking what he could get, and alone the rest of the time, while Steve and Catherine raised a bunch of kids, or he'd be broken from losing Steve. They'd barely been together for a couple of weeks and already one night of denying himself what Steve was willing to give had been like going cold turkey after a month of binge drinking.

He'd ask Amber out. And he'd tell Steve that once he let go of Catherine, if Danny was still available, maybe they could try to be together. But until then he was moving on. He had no other choice. 

***

Things were almost normal at Steve's. Steve had had that jealous tone when he'd accused Danny of "perking up" over her, but Danny hadn't tried to hide that he might have a thing for her. It would make things easier later. When they talked. Which they absolutely needed to do. Soon.

However, when he was getting ready to leave, after many happy goodbyes to Kono and Adam, who had been exhausted and left just before him, Steve asked about seeing him later, Danny wavered. Just because he knew he had to have that conversation didn't mean he was in a hurry to do it. So he hedged, until Steve said, "Catherine will be back tomorrow...."

Code for "It'll be harder for us to just randomly have sex" starting tomorrow.

Danny took a deep breath, the scent of Steve so strong given how close he was that Danny had to close his eyes against the way his body reacted. "I'm taking Grace to Rachel's at 8," he said. "Why don't you come over after?" 

The happiness in Steve's face hurt. "Yeah, sure, I'll be there about 9:15, that okay?"

Danny nodded, even as he hoped he had the resolve to be able to go through with the conversation, and not just keep things as they were. He needed to get out of this now, he reminded himself. He couldn't keep doing this. 

And there was that slight chance that the conversation might end better than he hoped. Maybe Steve would agree to cut Catherine loose. 

Stranger things have happened.

He got Grace buckled into the car and pulled out of the drive, but he couldn't help looking back in the mirror to see Steve watching them go. The look on his face tugged at Danny's heart, and he almost missed the turn staring. 

He was going to have to find a way to harden his heart against Steve's faces if he was going to go through with this. And he had a couple of hours to manage it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently it needed a second chapter...just in time for a new coda tomorrow. And, um...I'm sorry in advance. Really. So sorry. But um...it gets better eventually? :)

The drive home from Rachel's seemed to go by much faster than Danny would've liked. He needed time to shore up his defenses, to give himself a pep talk--or possibly a kick in the ass--to gear up to have this conversation. 

But he couldn't avoid his driveway, and he couldn't exactly have Steve catch him sitting in the car for no reason. So he parked and got out and went into the house. 

He was halfway through a beer, pacing the floor in between drinks, when Steve walked in. Danny was standing in the middle of the room, and Steve didn't stop, he just kept walking until he had his arms around Danny and just sort of melted into him. 

Fuck. How was he supposed to give this up?

"Hello to you, too," Danny said, putting his arms around Steve and returning the hug. 

Steve pulled back just enough to see Danny without pulling out of his arms, smiling down at him. "It was a long day."

"But a good one." Danny remembered how it felt to be able to look across the room and see Kono there again. "Having Kono back is good."

Steve nodded, his smile getting softer. "It's nice having family back home."

He was right. But. That wasn't what they were here to talk about. "What happens to Catherine now that Kono is back?"

Steve stiffened, his smile becoming forced. "We have enough work for five people." 

"True," Danny says, giving him a thoughtful nod, "but historically that hasn't worked out so well for us."

Dismissing that with a shrug, Steve said, "It hasn't worked out that bad."

"Uh...our first fifth team member helped Wo Fat kidnap and torture you and ended up shot for it."

"Danny, that was one isolated incident and she was blackmailed into it."

"Our second fifth member started out the governor's snitch and ended up getting sent home because she had a giant crush on you."

Steve blinked, a flush rising up his face. "How did you know about that?"

"I have eyes?" Danny shook his head. "Anyway, I'm just saying that odd numbers don't seem to be that great for us."

"We're called Five-0."

"You know what I mean."

Steve pulled out of Danny's embrace. "So, what, you want me to not only break up with Catherine, you want me to fire her, too?" he said, folding his arms over his chest. "While you're at it, would you like me to wreck her car? Maybe set fire to her house?"

"No! I didn't say any of that!"

"Then what do you want, Danny?"

"You! All right? I want you! That's all!"

Steve's shoulders slumped a little, his arms falling to his sides, his eyes closing. "Danny, I can't...I mean, I don't..." 

He opened his eyes, the pain there killing Danny's anger. "I want you," Steve said, conviction in his tone, but a hint of misery as well. "I always want you, whether you're in my arms, in my bed, or 5000 miles away in Jersey. But I can't have you at the expense of someone I care about. And you can't do it either."

Danny took a deep breath. "I know." He pulled Steve back into his arms. "You're right." 

"I just want..." Steve breathed deeply, his nose against Danny's neck. "Can we just not talk about this tonight? Please?"

"Okay." Danny said quickly. "Sure. Fine. Okay."

They needed to talk about it before Catherine got home, but there was always tomorrow. Tonight he could have one more night before he gave Steve up cold turkey, while still having him right by his side 16-20 hours a day most days. 

And he'd thought quitting smoking had been tough.

Steve lifted his head, looking down at Danny for a long moment before dipping his head to capture Danny's lips. The kiss was deep, Steve's tongue invading Danny's mouth as if he wanted to stake his claim on Danny's non-existent tonsils. 

If this was going to be it, then Danny wanted it to be a long night. He pushed Steve towards the bedroom without losing the kiss, stopping only when they ran into the doorjamb. He took that opportunity to strip off Steve's shirt, his hands stuttering their way up Steve's sides behind it, tracing the line until the shirt was off.

Danny threw the shirt aside, attacking the junction of Steve's throat and shoulder with his mouth. He didn't care if he left marks. Let Steve explain them away, if he needed to. 

Maybe if this night was good enough, Steve wouldn't have to explain anything to Catherine ever again.

Danny pushed Steve back onto the bed and relieved him of the rest of his clothes. Steve was content to watch, that look in his eyes that he never saw on Steve when he was with Catherine, the one that said when Danny got them both naked, he was going to be rewarded. Very, very rewarded. 

Once Steve was naked, Danny stripped as fast as he could, giving Steve just enough time to right himself on the bed, head on the pillow, before Danny was on him, tasting his way up Steve's body. Everything about the man was addictive, from the way his ab muscles jumped when Danny ran his tongue over them, to the way Steve gripped Danny's hair when Danny bit down lightly on one of his nipples. 

He needed this. He couldn't give it up, unless it was the only way he could keep it long-term.

Danny put that out of his head as he reached Steve's mouth, doing his own mapping of Steve's mouth as his hips moved against Steve's skin. The friction was heaven, but it wasn't want he wanted, what he needed, either to remember in the days ahead, or to win this battle. 

He sat up, straddling Steve's stomach, and gave him one long look, memorizing the dazed happiness on Steve's face before Danny leaned over and pulled out the lube. He moved slowly back down Steve's body until he was sitting on Steve's thighs. 

Eyes on Steve's face, Danny poured some of the liquid into his hand and gripped Steve's cock, hand moving slowly up and down. Steve's lower lip disappeared under his teeth as he moved in time with Danny's hand.

When Danny let go, Steve glared at him. "Hey!"

"You're clean, right?" Danny asked. 

It took a second for Steve to process the question, and another two seconds for him to get the full meaning of the question. "Uh...yes. And Catherine and I always use...I mean, it's the safest form of...and I've never...without."

Danny shoved that whole idea of Steve with anyone else out of his head. "Good," was all he said, as he prepped himself as quickly as he could. Steve's eyes had all but glazed over, and his throat was working like there were words there he didn't know how to say. 

As Danny raised up onto his knees, Steve's hands gripped Danny's thighs, holding on like a lifeline as Danny slowly lowered himself down onto Steve's cock. 

He'd never had someone inside him without a condom before, and he was beginning to think he could never go back. Because this was incredible. The knowledge that it was Steve probably didn't hurt, that no one had ever done this for either of them, it was like a first time all over again. 

When Steve was completely inside him, Danny sat there for a moment, looking at Steve, who looked more wrecked than Danny had ever seen him, more wrecked than even their first night. It was an amazing look, one he'd never be able to wipe from his mind. 

He hoped that was a good thing.

Danny moved, Steve moving perfectly in time with him, their bodies in tune after the past few weeks. Not that they hadn't always been in sync with each other since early in their partnership, but this was a new level. 

He couldn't get over the way it felt, skin sliding against skin inside him, no barriers, nothing between them at all. The way it should be. 

It was over too soon. Danny felt Steve tense up as he cried out and spilled himself inside Danny. It was enough to send Danny over the edge, even as Steve's grip on Danny's cock faltered. 

Danny draped himself over Steve and tried to remember how to breathe. He felt like his pores had exploded and then been pulled back together a little out of whack. 

Steve's hands slid up and down Danny's back. "God, Danny," Steve muttered against Danny's ear. "That was...I don't even know. That was something else." 

Danny huffed out a quiet laugh. "Yeah, it was...intense." And amazing and incredible and something he didn't want to give up.

"You need to try it," Steve said. 

Danny pushed up onto his elbows to look down at Steve. "Seriously?"

Steve nodded. "You have to. It's...you have to. And I want you to."

Danny licked at his lips for a moment before he nodded. "Yeah. Okay, that's....yeah. As soon as we recover," he said, dropping back down onto Steve again.

He'd take whatever Steve was willing to give him and hope that it would be enough to make it not their last night.

Or enough to last a long time if it was.

***

Daylight had barely started to come through the cracks in the curtains when Danny woke. Of course, woke would imply that he'd actually slept instead of just lying there, drifting in a between-sex haze. He was exhausted and sore in places he hadn't been in a while, and he loved every single ache.

Steve's arms tightened around him as he woke, stretching his body against Steve's. They were both relatively clean, after having ventured into the shower for round four before finally passing out on top of the bedspread for a while. 

The fuzzy blue blanket from the foot of Danny's bed was all that covered them, but it felt nice, like it would if they could laze around on Sunday mornings if they were a real couple.

But they weren't. Not yet. And if Danny didn't do something about it now, he never would. Not after last night.

He turned in Steve's arms to find Steve looking at him, eyes turning a little wary as he saw Danny's expression. "What?" Steve said, tensing.

"We can't keep doing this."

"Danny, we can, we--"

"No." Danny shook his head sadly, no anger now, just a little sadness that it had to be this way. "Catherine comes back tonight, and she's not stupid, Steve. If we keep sneaking around like this, she's going to figure it out. And that's going to be a hell of a lot worse than you just breaking things off with her."

"Danny, she's not going to--"

"Steven." Danny fixed him with a look. "She's not just on Five-0 because she's sleeping with the boss. She's smart. She probably already suspects, she just doesn't want to think about it."

Steve sniffed. "I can't lose you."

"You're not going to lose me," Danny said. "But we can't keep doing this." He waved a hand at the bed. " _I_ can't keep doing this. I need more. And if I can't have more, than this has to stop before I...." He didn't even know how that sentence was supposed to end.

Steve took a deep breath. "So it's her or you, is that it?"

"That's not what I said or what I meant and you know it. Stop trying to pick a fight."

Guilt flashed over Steve's face, confirming Danny's suspicion. This would be easier for him if they fought. He could play it off. Storm out without really having to deal with this and tell himself it would be okay when Danny calmed down.

The problem with that was that Danny _was_ calm. 

"Danny..."

That tone would get Steve almost anything from Danny, and the bastard knew it. It only hardened Danny's resolve. He ran a hand over Steve's face, the light from outside just bright enough for Danny to see Steve's eyes now. "I'm sorry. I don't want it to be this way. But I can't do this anymore."

"I...." Steve closed his eyes, pulling Danny in close, and Danny thought he might have felt wetness where Steve's eyes were pressed against Danny's neck. The hold lasted only a moment before Steve let him go, rolling off to the side and out of the bed. 

Danny closed his eyes and listened to the sound of Steve getting dressed. When Steve stopped beside Danny's side of the bed, he opened them again, looking up at Steve.

"I'm going to break up with her." The words made Danny's heart soar, until Steve continued. "As soon as I know she's okay, I'm breaking up with her. And then I'm coming after you full force."

"And when will that be."

"Soon." 

Right. Steve had been saying soon for a while now. "I'm not waiting for you," Danny said, and everything in him, including his expression and tone, judging by Steve's reaction, screamed that he was lying. But he wasn't about to act like he was waiting, even if he had a feeling he might wait for a long, long time deep inside.

Steve studied him for a long moment before giving him one of those curt nods, like Danny had just given him a mission. "I'll see you tomorrow morning at HQ?"

Danny nodded. "See you tomorrow."

One more of those nods, and Steve turned on his heel and marched out of the room. 

Danny waited until he heard the truck's engine fade before turning onto his side and wrapping his arms around Steve's pillow and closing his eyes.

\---  
END

**Author's Note:**

> Want to learn more about me and my writing? Visit my page at <http://www.jamiemeadowswrites.com/>


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